Jaws 14

Lots 3 and 4. A vast and seemingly treeless frontier, these lots make up the two biggest areas to park at Discovery Park. They also require the cheapest parking permit, roughly 27$ for a full year, but like any parking lot, the people who arrive the earliest get the best spots. Now don’t get me wrong, there are no really “bad” spots per say, a token to the civil engineers who designed the layout, but it’s always nicer to get the premium spots…VIP if you will.

Sometimes I think that if I don’t arrive to school before the sun rises that I will never get one of these coveted VIP spots. Some of the people that work up here are super dedicated! I have started to figure out a strategy to acquire one of these spots.

Think for a moment of the way a shark might hunt its prey. The sharks hang back and observe from a not-too-close, not-too-far base, hunt strategically and learn from previous attempts. We too must be like sharks. It goes like this. Pull slowly into lot 3. Scope the horizon for potential departures, typically around 1:50pm the noon classes should be getting out. When you spot someone, drive slowly in the general direction you suspect they are walking. Monitor your breathing…stay steady…patient.

If this is freaking anybody out I’m sorry, but it’s a legitimate strategy. One that can only be a result of our inherent human instincts. Anyways back to the strategy. Sometimes this person who you think is leaving will end up going to the bus stop. It’s okay. Don’t be discouraged, more will come.

When you see someone make a b-line towards the ocean of cars, then it’s time to move in. Follow slowly behind them because there’s a lot of other sharks out there. As a rule of safety keep a 50 ft distance between you and the target, and, if you follow this procedure exactly as I say you may just luck out. Now if this does not work, revert to the classic “circling” method, but again as a rule of thumb, keep your speed under ten miles per hour.

In conclusion, think like a shark. A shark that has a human brain of course…yeah, that just happened. Just the other day I had a successful hunt, and was fortunate enough to park in the first row! I plan to hone my skills but now I guess since I revealed the tricks my competition will go up. May the best nerd win!

P.S. And don’t even think about trying to get away with the excuse displayed below!